Dear Dad...

It's been 14 years since you left us, although it feels like just a day ago. Oh how I miss those bakkie rides all over the farm and the cows chasing you round the bakkie and how you taught us everything you knew about farming yet we couldn't understand it but nodded in amazement and excitement that oneday this would be ours to enjoy with our children. How I miss sitting in your lap listening to your stories and how I miss you talking to me in german, (mine kinde) and how I miss the goodnight kiss after you tucked me into my big bed. If only we knew what was going to happen, that our dreams and excitement would be shattered by your absence, by your mistakes. I will never forget the last time I saw you, that image will stay in my mind forever. Looking back, it hurts so much to have seen you like that, so helpless like a new born child. Its excruciating that I remember you like that. I do not blame you for some of the choices that you made, but I cannot judge you, i do not have that right as I was a mere child of 5, how was I to understand the concept of family feud and pressure?

At times you feel so far away, as though you have left my heart and forgotten about me and I about you, it saddens me greatly that you are not here in flesh to share my life with you. How I long for a father in flesh to touch, to hold onto and to feel the warmth and comfort in your arms. How I long to hear the words, I love you and to see the actions of your love. There are days when I hate you for leaving me but I soon understand that it is/ws God's will and that there is a purpose for it however hard that may be to understand and live with. I get so jealous of my friends who have such awesome dads and who boast about them, but they are entitled to, I would to.

I know mom misses you very much as do all of us. But it must sadden you too to see how things have become, how they have turned into sour grapes, how your family is so divided and always fighting. Im sorry, it souldn't be that way, we are trying to make things right but it's not easy. i have so many questions to ask you, so many things I am uncertain about, whether truth has been spoken or if I have been told nothing but lies about you and who you were as a father, husband and brother.

I hope that we (boetie and I) have made you proud and that you have not been dissapointed or angry with us for the choices we have made.

I miss you more then any words can describe. I pray that you will be by my side always and that I never forget you and you never forget me.

xxx

Am@zInG Gr@cÉ...

Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I am found, was blind but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear and grace my fears relieved. How precious did that grace appear, the hour I first believed.

My chains are gone, I've been set free. My God my Saviour has ransomed me, and like a flood his mercy reigns, Undending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me his word my hope secures. He will my sheild and portion be, as long as life endures.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow, the sun forbear to shine, but God who called me here below will be forever mine, will be forever mine, You are forever mine.

G.r.@.c.É

Gods

Riches

At

Christ's

Expense

Awesome thing to think about!

1 Corinthians 1:3 May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.

1 Corinthians 16:23 May the grace of the Lord Jesus be with you.

Ephesians 2:8 God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.

Hebrews 4:16 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

91 and still a spring chicken!

Yesterday was my great grans 91st birthday!Now I don't know about you, but 91 years of life sounds like eternity...dam me thats a long time to have been breathing for. She has had an incredible and adventurous life, wow I have listened to her many stories of her life experiences, what an amazing women! She is so close to my heart, always there 4 me in troubled times, always giving even though she doesn't have much herself. It was just awesome to spend teh entire day with her. Laughs and suprises filled the lunch table and lots of wine went down very well with her. I'm truly grateful to have such a wonderful, inspiring women in my life. She is not what you would expect from an average 91 year old, she's anything but average let me asure you of that, she's extraoridnary, unique in everyway. She has taught me so much about life and she was the one who taught me how to speak, understand and write Afrikaans and for that I will be eternally grateful. Thank you for being the best Great Granny i could ever have hoped ofr. Happy Birthday Oumie!

A Grandma Is…
A grandma is someone

Who’s dear in every way.

Her smile is like the sunshine

That brightens each new day.

A grandma is someone

Who plays a special part

In all the treasured memories

We hold within our heart.

HaPpY bIrT#d@y...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY - FLIPSYDE

Happy Birthday...so make a wish

Please accept my apologies, wonder what would have been
Would you've been a little angel or an angel of sin?
Tom-boy running around, hanging with all the guys.
Or a little tough boy with beautiful brown eyes?
I payed for the murder before they determined the sex
Choosing our life over your life meant your death
And you never got a chance to even open your eyes
Sometimes I wonder as a fetus if you faught for your life?
Would you have been a little genius in love with math?
Would you have played in your schoolclothes and made me mad?
Would you have been a little rapper like your papa da Piper?
Would you have made me quit smokin' by finding one of my lighters?
I wonder about your skintone and shape of your nose?
And the way you would have laughed and talked fast or slow?
Think about it every year, so I picked up a pen
Happy birthday, love you whoever you woulda been
Happy birthday...

Chorus:
All I thought was a dream (make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed (happy birthday)
All I thought was a dream (make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed

I made a mistake!

I've got a millon excuses to why you died
Bet the people got their own reasons for homicide
Who's to say it woulda worked, and who's to say it wouldn't have?
I was young and strugglin' but old enough to be your dad
The fear of being a father has never disappeared
Pondering frequently while I'm zippin' on my beer
My vision of a family was artificial and fake
So when it came time to create I made a mistake
Now you've got a little brother maybe he's really you?
Maybe you really forgave us knowin' we was confused?
Maybe everytime that he smiles it's you proudly knowin' that your father's doin' the right thing now?
I never tell a woman what to do with her body
But if she don't love children then we can't party
Think about it every year, so I picked up a pen
Happy birthday, love you whoever you woulda been
Happy birthday...

Chorus:
All I thought was a dream (make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed (happy birthday)
All I thought was a dream (yeah, make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed

I made a mistake!

And from the heavens to the womb to the heavens again
From the endin' to the endin', never got to begin
Maybe one day we could meet face to face?
In a place without time and space
Happy birthday...

From the heavens to the womb to the heavens again
From the endin' to the endin', never got to begin
Maybe one day we could meet face to face?
In a place without time and space
Happy birthday...

Chorus:
All I thought was a dream (make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed (happy birthday)
All I thought was a dream (make a wish)
Was as real as it seemed

I made a mistake...!

Really just love this song at the moment...it's so peaceful although its so sad if you listen to the lyrics...

R@gë...

Hi punks of the world...so today i'm making a public recognition that I have an anger/rage problem. I knew I had an issue with rage esp when im behind the steering wheel but never knew it was serious until last night when my best friend pointed things out to me....I was really hurt at first but then as we spoke more, I fully understood where she was coming from and it upset me so much that I was aloowing my anger to control me and my relationships. So i have decided to try and calm down and get my anger under control. So the reason why I am telling you all is that I need to be held accountable, so i'm asking you all to be my accountability partners. For those of you who interact with me on a regular basis, please let me know when I get out of hand and "loose it" as I really want to improve on this area of my life so I can help others. I found some cool qoutes about anger that were really inspiring...take a look:

He who angers you conquers you. ~Elizabeth Kenny

For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness. ~Author Unknown

Anger is one letter short of danger. ~Author Unknown

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ~Malachy McCourt

Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved. ~Marcus Antonius

I also would like to apologise to those people who I have hurt or disappointed due to my anger.
Today is a fresh start to a relatively calmer life, I know that anger is part of human emotions but there are ways to express it without it being destructive.

Hope you all have a god filled day!

Uncle Angus...

Hey punks...wow what a busy weekend, but what a gr8 weekend! On Saturday I went to King's Park to hear Angus Buchan...wow what an energetic "old" man, I couldn't believe how much energy he had for God and how postive he was about our country. It really inspired me to start thinking more positively and to try and stop all teh negativity that surrounds us everyday. The worship was indescribable, I just felt the presence of God over that stadium and to see thousands of people stand and lift their voices and prasie God was such a joyful sight. So I encourage all of you to strive for positivity and live in hope. Have a gr8 week and may it be filled with God's grace and love. Amen!

"I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!" Philippians 3:10-11